6 TED Talks That Can Increase Your Happiness Quotient
If I had a nickel for every time a friend began a conversation with, “I was listening to a TED Talk the other day,” I’d be hunting for one of those coin-changing machines. It seems like everyone, including me, has a favorite, one that left them intrigued or inspired or increased their knowledge about how to live a fuller, richer life. Here are six TED (and TEDx) Talks that I've found particularly affecting. Watching them made me feel like I'd received an advanced degree in how to live a happier life.
The Surprising Science of Happiness
Harvard psychologist Dan Gilbert, Ph.D., gives a hyper-kinetic rundown of the counterintuitive theory behind his bestselling book Stumbling on Happiness. Turns out, to paraphrase the Rolling Stones, you can’t always get what you want, but you might indeed be getting what you need. We have a robust “psychological immune system,” Gilbert says, that allows us to synthesize happiness even when things don’t go as planned.
Happiness Takeaway: You have the capacity to create happiness out of whatever circumstances you find yourself in—even if you don’t land your dream house, dream job, or dream partner.
Embrace the Near Win
Sarah Lewis, Ph.D., a professor of art and African-American studies at Harvard, evokes Duke Ellington, James Baldwin, three-time Olympic gold medalist Jackie Joyner-Kersee, Kafka, and Michelangelo in this mesmerizing celebration of the “near win.” She suggests that we find greater meaning and happiness when we pursue mastery rather than chase success. “Mastery is in the reaching,” Lewis says, “not the arriving.”
Happiness Takeaway: As Lewis says, “We thrive not when we do it all, but when we have more to do.”
What Makes a Good Life? Lessons from the Longest Study on Happiness
Some studies offer a snapshot of happiness. The Harvard Study of Adult Development takes the long view. The study began in 1938 tracking 724 men, both privileged Harvard students and members of some of the poorest neighborhoods in Boston. In this TEDx Talk, psychiatrist Robert Waldinger, M.D., the fourth director of the study, discusses what following people from their teens into their ’80s revealed: The key to enduring well‑being is good, close relationships. “People who are more socially connected to family, to friends, to community, are happier,” Waldinger says, “they're physically healthier, and they live longer than people who are less well-connected.”
Happiness Takeaway: “It's not the number of friends you have, and it's not whether you're in a committed relationship," says Waldinger. "But it's the quality of your close relationships that matters.”
The Happy Secret to Better Work
We’ve been led to believe that if we work harder, we’ll be happier and more successful. With the pace, energy, and humor of a stand-up comic, author Shawn Achor turns this formula on its head. Research shows, he says, that our brains work in the opposite direction. Raise your positivity and your brain experiences a “happiness advantage” that leads to a huge spike in productivity.
Happiness Takeaway: For 21 days in a row, spend just two minutes writing down three new things you’re grateful for and you’ll start rewiring your brain to scan the world not for the negative but for the positive.
A Magical Mantra for Nurturing a Blissful Life
In this four-minute talk, monk JayaShri Maathaa, describes how the simple words “thank you” became a “magical mantra” that filled her life “with bliss and grace” as the pandemic raged in her home of Sri Lanka. She said “thank you” when she ate or drank, worked, walked or sat silently. It was her first thought in the morning and her last thought before drifting into sleep. She even found herself thanking the sun, moon and stars, and the birds, buds and butterflies in her garden. “Thank you,” Maathaa says, may be just a sound initially; but, with repetition, it becomes a “true feeling of gratitude in your heart.”
Happiness Takeaway: “We cannot do much about troubled times and conditions in life, but we certainly can do something to calm ourselves during troubled times,” notes Maathaa.
Helping Others Makes Us Happier—But It Matters How We Do It
Canadian social psychologist Elizabeth Dunn, Ph.D., had published an influential paper entitled “Spending Money on Others Promotes Happiness.” But her own donations weren’t leading to much of a happiness buzz. So, she decided to join with two dozen fellow Canadians to sponsor a family caught up in the Syrian refugee crisis, bringing them over to Vancouver and supporting them during their first year living there. As Dunn shares in this heartwarming talk, from painting the family’s home to coaching their four-year-old through bike camp, she experiences a happiness boost far deeper than she’d imagined. Along the way, she develops a new theory of giving: It makes the biggest impact, both on those who give and those who receive, when meaningful connections are forged. “We're used to thinking about giving as something we should do,” Dunn says. “And it is. But in thinking about it this way, we're missing out on one of the best parts of being human—that we have evolved to find joy in helping others.”
Happiness Takeaway: “Let's stop thinking about giving as just this moral obligation and start thinking of it as a source of pleasure,” says Dunn.
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